Shotgun Wedding
by Emania
Summary: [Complete] How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar? InuKag & MirSan pairings. Very silly!
1. Part I

**_Shotgun Wedding: Part I  
_****_By Emania_**

**A/N:** Okay, so this is LilacRose's Kiriban request for catching the 1,000 mark on D.A. I had started this fic on a lark when I caught an old episode of **_Lavern & Shirley_** (that was a crossover episode with **_Happy Days )_** on Nick at Nite or TV Land or something like that. It's not exactly like the episode, obviously, but the main idea of a forced marriage that they can't get out for some reasons came from the show. (Just in case you're curious, in the episode, it's Lavern that has to marry Fonzie and Shirley that has to marry Richie) So, I started writing this fic, but wasn't sure I was going to go anywhere with it, and when Lilac read the bit I had, she liked it and when she got the Kiriban, she asked that I complete the fic. It's taken me this long to finish, so I'm deeply sorry, Li! bows profusely. I probably wouldn't even have finished it tonight, except suddenly Puck came back with how to end it! I was stuck in the very last part…you'll see.

And in case the fact that this was inspired by **_Lavern & Shirley_** episode isn't enough to tip you off, this is a very, very, VERY silly fic. Very. Did I mention very?

Oh, and when I post this on ff . net, I think I'm going to have to separate it into chapters, cause it came out to like 24 pages, and I don't think I can post all that on ff . net in one post. But it shouldn't be more than a couple of chapters, anyway. On dA, I'm just going to post it in one long post.

**Special Fanfiction . net A/N:**So, I couldn't exactly post it in one piece on dA either, but I only had to post it in two pieces there. Oh, yeah, and I posted it there the day before yesterday, I think. (I'm working on three hours sleep, so forgive me if I sound a little woozie on some details. O.o ) Anyway, this is posted here in six pieces, and I'm posting them all at once, so no cliffies, no waiting…ain't I wonderful! Okay…you can feel free to shower me with love, now. (cheeky smirk)

_Puck rolls his eyes, "When you get this stupid silly you're definitely passed your I don't need sleep mark."_

Em grins at him. "Pucky-kun! You're talking in my A/Ns again!" She proceeds to glomp him.

_Puck waves__ his hand in front of her eyes, after which she plops into his arms. "Yeah, I think it's beddie bye for you, Em, but don't worry guys, I'll finish posting it up! I promise! I'll be back!" He zooms off to put her in her bed. _

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, **_Lavern & Shirley _**and**_ Happy Days_** creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

**Summary:** How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

**_Shotgun Wedding  
_**_"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it  
__Maybe even you and I might do it  
__Let's do it…  
__Let's fall in love!"  
__- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter_

**Part I**

"Where are the boys?"

Kagome looked up from the intense study of her book, blinking a few times to refocus her mind into processing Sango's words instead of Biology. "Hmmm…."

Sango smiled at the lost look on her friend's face. Those books always took up most of her attention and it always took her a little bit to come back into the world around her. "Miroku? Inuyasha? Shippou?"

Kagome smiled, understanding. "Ah," she said and shrugged. "Inuyasha just went off for his daily brooding session and Miroku said something about going into the nearby village for supplies and Shippou traipsed off after Inuyasha."

Sango's smile slipped from her lips. "The village?" Kagome nodded, her mind already back on how the pituitary gland affected human thought. "The closest village that we saw over that ridge there?" Sango insisted.

The note to her friend's voice made Kagome raise her eyes to her once again, biting her lip. "Um…I think so," Kagome answered. "I didn't really ask him, Sango-chan, why?"

Sango's face fell forward until it connected with her palm and she groaned. "Houshi-sama…" she said under her breath. "Of course."

"Sango?" Kagome called. "Do you know something I don't?"

Sango sighed deeply and stood, grabbing Hiraikotsu. "I think I should explain on the way there…" she looked around her. "We should break up camp, this might take awhile."

Kagome closed her book and stood, already starting to do as Sango had asked, even though she was still thoroughly confused. "You think Miroku's in trouble?" Kagome questioned.

"Probably," Sango answered on a sigh.

Kagome stopped suddenly and looked around. "I hope Inuyasha'll be able to find us," she said strapping her pack onto her back.

"I'm sure he will," Sango answered as she led the way to the village.

They hadn't gotten 10 feet away from the camp when a heart rending scream stopped them out of sheer shock.

"KAGOME!"

Kagome looked up in the direction of her name and was about to answer when a ball of reddish-brown hair slammed into her. "Shippou?" she asked, half concerned, and mostly surprised.

"KAGOMEYOUHAVETOMARRYINUYASHASTUPIDHEAD'SINTROUBLEAGAINANDHECAN'TGETOUTOFITUNLESSYOUGOANDYOU'VEGOTTAGOCAUSEOTHERWISEHE'SGONNAHAFTAGOWAYANDHECAN'TYOUWON'TLETHIMWILLYOU?"

Kagome blinked and looked at Sango who shrugged. "You didn't get any of that, did you?"

"Weren't you supposed to be with Inuyasha?" Kagome asked him.

"Shippou…" Sango started, trying to calm the kit down.

His eyes grew wide as he saw her and he jumped from Kagome's arms to clutch at Sango. "SANGOYOUANDMIROKUCAUSESTUPIDHEDIDN'TKNOWTHEYTRICKEDHIMANDHEDIDN'TREALLYMEANTOBUTHECOULDN'THELPITANDTHEYPLAYEDDIRTY!"

Sango blinked, trying not to smile because the kit really looked serious, but she couldn't help but grin a little when he looked so earnest. "Shippou you're not making sense!"

Something he had said started to make sense in Kagome's mind. "Did you say I've gotta marry Inuyasha?" she asked. Shippou turned to her and opened his mouth to speak when Kagome put a hand to his lips. "Slowly, Shippou and don't scream or we can't understand you."

He took a deep breath and made a visual effort to calm himself down. "You'vegottacomenowcausehe'sthereandyou'reherebutyouneedtobethereandSANKONTESSOUbutHEWON'T!"

Kagome blinked very slowly. This day had not started out well and was deteriorating by the moment. Maybe she should've stayed in bed? Mostly, she had gotten something about being needed by Inuyasha and Miroku because Inuyasha wouldn't do something but she had only gotten it because of Shippou's elaborate hand gestures as he spoke.

"Inuyasha and Miroku are together?" she tried a different track.

Shippou sighed and jumped to the ground, pulling on her arm. "ComeON!"

Kagome glanced at Sango when Sango shrugged, she started moving. "Is Inuyasha in trouble? Is he hurt?"

"Worse!" Shippou answered, continuing to lead her forward.

"Worse? Oh my god, Shippou, is he dead?"

Shippou shook his head emphatically and looked up at her earnestly, his little face stern and serious. "Worse!" he told her. "He's gonna get married!"

Kagome tripped on a root she would have seen if she hadn't just been shocked numb. "What?"

"Miroku too, the stupidhead!" he insisted.

Sango groaned. "Oh, no…" she said. "I was afraid something like this might happen."

"What?" Kagome insisted, not liking feeling left out, as if she had missed an important part of the conversation.

"That village that Houshi-sama went to," Sango spoke to Kagome. "All the young men of the village went to war, and none of them have returned," she sighed. "I heard about it at the last village we went to, that's why I was trying to steer us clear of it."

"Oh, no!" Kagome exclaimed, some of the pieces starting to fit together. "A village full of women without any men?" She shook her head. "So Miroku went there and probably got himself in trouble."

"Oh, there are men, alright," Shippou corrected her.

"There are?" both Sango and Kagome asked simultaneously.

"Yep, the one that's trying to get Inuyasha and Miroku to marry his daughters is a man."

Suddenly it all made sense. "But how would…"

Content that they were walking in the right direction finally, and that they wouldn't stop, Shippou slowed down and managed to calm down a bit enough to be more understandable. "I was with Inuyasha when he went to find Miroku for something, I don't know why. We found him in this room with two girls…"

The sound of Sango's teeth grinding filled the air but Shippou was oblivious.

"Oh, he wasn't doing anything...actually, he looked really surprised, cause when Inuyasha walked in and called him a perverted Bouzo, Miroku actually looked kinda glad to see Inuyasha but he couldn't tell us why cause right at that moment, the other girl, the one that wasn't closest to Miroku launched herself at Inuyasha and put her arms around his neck."

"That little tart…" Kagome grumbled under her breath.

Shippou either hadn't heard or hadn't understood it enough to question it, cause he continued. "So, Inuyasha's face goes all red and he sputters for a moment and before he can peel her away, the door opens and in steps this old man with a sword and half the household."

"I think I see where this is going now…" Kagome mumbles.

"So the old man says that Inuyasha and Miroku have to marry his daughters or their honor will be ruined and he will not have their honor ruined," Shippou continues heedlessly. "So just as Inuyasha is about to use his claws on the whole lot of them to get them out of there, Miroku stops him and steps up to the old man…" Shippou giggled a little and looked up at them. "He had to pry the girl off of him cause she wouldn't let go…it was funny…"

Sango's face goes red. "Please continue, Shippou," she says through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, but you should've seen it, he was like…" Shippou proceeds to shake his arm like it had a bug on it and laugh.

"Shippou!"

Shippou looked up to meet Sango's eyes and what he saw must've made him realize the severity of the situation because he stopped smiling and continued his story as they continued to walk. "Yeah, so Miroku goes all monk-like and tells the old man that nothing improper was going on and that he was a…" here, Shippou's face turns into a remarkable likeness of Miroku's serene look. "Servant of Buddha," he imitates Miroku's voice, then laughs, but sobers as soon as he sees Kagome and Sango's faces. "And blah, blah, blah, he went into his lines about giving her spiritual healing and whatever, but the man raises his sword and says that it didn't look like spiritual healing to him and that he would marry his daughters." Shippou shrugged. "Again, Inuyasha tried to get us out of there by using his speed and his strength, but Miroku wouldn't have it, he stopped him and said that they were only humans and not really a threat so anyway," Shippou eventually got tired of walking and leapt onto Kagome's shoulder. "The only thing he could think of saying was that they were already promised to another woman and when that seemed to stall the village enough, Miroku told them they had left you to go hunting and to gather supplies but that the girl had needed spiritual healing and he had stopped to aid her and that's when they came in, but the village elder didn't believe them so Miroku asked that I be allowed to go find you and bring you back and once they see you and you guys pretend to be engaged with them, then we can all go home."

Kagome nodded and took Shippou from her shoulder. "Shippou, you go and wait for us in the next village."

"What?" he whined. "No, Kagome, I can't leave you two alone!"

"You must," Kagome insisted. "We will need someone to be waiting out there for us in case we come across trouble!" she insisted. "If we don't make it to the village in two days, you're to go straight to Kaede's village and tell her."

"But Kagomeeee…" Shippou whined.

"Shippou, please," Kagome insisted. "This is very important," she told him seriously. "If we become trapped in the village, we'll need someone to be able to alert the back up to come get us!" Kagome put Shippou down. "If you become captured with us, who will do that?"

Shippou gaspsed. "That's right!" Shippou lowered his head. "I hadn't thought of that," he told her.

"It's alright, Shippou," Kagome ruffled his head. "Now, please, do as I say…go and wait there for us."

Shippou stood up straight. "I will…you can count on me!" he exclaimed as he sped off in the direction of the next village.

Kagome sighed as she watched him go and started walking with Sango again.

"What are you thinking, Sango?" Kagome asked.

"That it sounds almost too easy," Sango mused aloud as they saw the first glimpse of the village cresting the horizon.

"I agree," Kagome shook her head. "But what can we do?"

Sango sighed. "Nothing, I guess…"

Kagome turned to Sango suddenly, grinning wickedly. "But you get the Hentai," Kagome told her playfully. "No way I'm pretending to be engaged to Miroku."

Sango's face dropped into a pout as she realized what pretending to be Miroku's intended might give rise to. "Kami-sama help me," she prayed. "I'm of a mind to just let them get themselves out of it," she mused aloud as they were starting to get the attention of the village women.

"Yeah, except two things," Kagome answered.

"What's that?" Sango prompted.

"One, I want to teach those floosies a lesson about trying to take men by trickery," Kagome answered with a bit more heat in her tone than she had expected. Sango nodded, validating her point. "And two…" she sighed as they walked into the village square and caught sight of Inuyasha and Miroku tied against a lone pole in the center of the square. The look in Inuyasha's eyes was murder. "I don't know how long Inuyasha's temper will last before he decides to stop playing nice."

Sango nodded again. "Good point," she agreed as they stood before the village elder.


	2. Part II

**_Shotgun Wedding: Part II  
_****_By Emania_**

**A/N:** Second verse, same as the first!

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, **_Lavern & Shirley _**and**_ Happy Days_** creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

**Summary:** How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

**_Shotgun Wedding  
_**_"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it  
__Maybe even you and I might do it  
__Let's do it…  
__Let's fall in love!"  
__- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter_

**Part II**

"I see that two women have come to our village," the elder spoke hospitably. "What do you seek from us?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes, irked at his tone, but managed to control her temper. She pointed to where Inuyasha and Miroku were watching them carefully. "Them," she told him. "Our intendeds."

The elder turned back to look at the boys as the crowd grew. "How can we be sure the fox kit did not merely bribe two random ladies in a nearby village?"

"You can't, father, just get rid of them!" a brown haired woman in a green kimono exclaimed as she stood next to Miroku.

"Now, now, daughter, I promised them the chance to prove that they are indeed spoken for," the elder soothed.

"Well, what sort of proof are you looking for, elder?" Sango asked, her eyes flicking to where the girl was still standing possessively by Miroku. She met the eyes of the girl and narrowed hers, clenching her fist to keep it away from Hiraikotsu.

"How long have you been promised to each other?" the elder asked. When Sango opened her mouth to speak, he pointed to Kagome. "You!"

Kagome thought about it for a moment. "Inuyasha and I were meant to be together for over 50 years now…"

"Fifty!" the elder exclaimed. "That's preposterous."

Kagome watched as Inuyasha glared at the black haired girl who had come out to stand beside him. She watched as she smoothed out her pink kimono and realized how much she hated the color. "No it's not!" Kagome argued. "Our families have meant for us to be together for that long." She straightened her shoulders and put on her haughtiest expression. "My grandmother and…"

"Silence!" he demanded. Kagome looked about ready to argue when the man turned his back to her and faced Inuyhasha. "You!" he demanded. "Explain what she means."

Inuyasha sighed audibly. "God-damnit Kagome!" he exclaimed. "Takes you forever to get here and then you have to go with all this shit?" he shakes his head. "You couldn't just give the simple answer?"

"Stop complaining, you baka!" Kagome threw back. "If you didn't get yourself in these messes you wouldn't have to…"

"I didn't get myself into…" he started to argue back when the elder's voice cut through their discussion.

"Silence!" he demanded. He pointed to Inuyasha. "Answer the question, boy!"

Inuyasha glared at him but one word out of the side of Miroku's mouth clamed him. "She says we've been meant to be together for 50 years because her grandmother and my grandfather were in love over 50 years ago and when they couldn't marry for political reasons, they swore they would unite the families once there were children that would reach marrying age at the same time," Inuyasha spat out.

Kagome gaped. She didn't think Inuyasha had such romantic creativity in his body.

"But she only believes that romantic hooey because she's a romantic fool, that's why!" Inuyasha finished. Kagome narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. He glared defiantly at Kagome and then back to the elder. "We've really been promised to each other for a little over a year now."

"You don't seem to like her much," the girl next to him purred.

"That's none of your damn business, wench!" Inuyasha growled.

"Watch your mouth, boy!" The elder spoke, pointing the sword at Inuyasha and pressed it against his neck, Inuyasha started to growl and raise his hand when Miroku leaned against his and spoke soothingly. Inuyasha keh-ed and raised a warning finger at Miroku instead.

"Look," Kagome started, trying to soothe the situation. "Inuyasha is my intended just like Miroku is Sango's…so why don't you just let us take them home, huh?"

"I don't believe them, yet, pappa!" the girl next to Miroku spoke up.

"Pappa!" the girl next to Inuyasha pouted. "The fox could've told them that information!"

"Yes!" the one in the green piped up. "They could still be random, normal girls!"

Kagome glared at her and was just shy of growling. "Do we look normal to you?" Kagome pointed between herself in her uniform and Sango in her Yukata and Hiraikotsu.

"No," the one in the pink spoke. "You look like whores."

Miroku gasped and Inuyasha growled, but Sango was much more worried about holding Kagome back when she started to stalk angrily toward the one in the pink.

Finding herself unable to move because of Sango's hold, Kagome resorted to glaring at her. "Listen here, you floozy!" Kagome started, her voice dangerously low. "I am _not_ the one throwing myself at strange men just because I'm horny and too desperate to get any other man to pay attention to me!"

Miroku winced and Inuyasha's eyes opened wide. He turned to Miroku and grinned. "Did Kagome really just say that?"

Miroku grinned back. "She did."

Inuyasha turned to Kagome and grinned even wider. "Atta girl," he whispered.

Pink grew closer to Inuyasha. "Is this kind of filth what you really like? And you with such cute ears…" she started to reach out to touch him and Inuyasha glared warningly at her, but it was Kagome's voice that froze her hand mere inches from Inuyasha's ears.

"Touch them and I'll break your arm off and beat you with the blunt end," Kagome growled.

Inuyasha, for his part, was grinning like a fool. "Damn, Kagome," he said in a pleased tone. "I didn't know you had it in you!"

Kagome closed her eyes and exhaled, physically calming herself. She nodded at Sango that she could let her go. Kagome looked at the Elder. "I apologize," she told him seriously. "I shouldn't have resorted to that level…and before it gets any worse, you really should just let us take our men home."

The Elder looked almost pleased. "You're not taking them anywhere, missy," he told her smugly. "You're free to go anytime you like, but these here men are to marry my daughters until and unless one or both of you can prove they're to marry you."

"You haven't even told us how to prove it!" Sango exclaimed, exasperated. "We've already given you information."

"You haven't," the one in green exclaimed.

"That's right, you haven't!" the one in pink supported.

"Yes, Sango, dear," Miroku grinned.

Sango narrowed her eyes at him. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she accused. His only reply was a smile, but it was more than enough for her. "Why, I aught to…" her hand itched to raise Hiraikotsu, but Kagome's hand on her arm stilled her. Instead, she sighed, calming herself much as Kagome had done.

"What information would you have?" she asked the elder, refusing to acknowledge the girls.

"Where does his father live?" The Elder asked after a moment's consideration.

"Nowhere," Sango answered, her tone clipped due to her frustration and annoyance.

"Ah!" Green almost purred. "She doesn't know!"

"Nonsense!" Sango exclaimed in return.

"Then answer the question!" Green countered.

"I did, you overdeveloped, underinformed…" Sango swallowed the rest of her comment before she lost her temper again.

"What kind of answer is that?" Green pressed.

"The only kind!" Sango bit back. She glanced at Miroku for a moment and her expression turned soft. "His father passed away when he was a child," she turned to Green, "So he _lives_ nowhere," she specified. "Do you need me to explain that further, or have you got the concept now?" she asked sarcastically.

"Heh," Inuyasha laughed.

"Indeed," Miroku agreed, smiling proudly. He glanced at the girl at his side who looked at him as if for confirmation which he gave her by a nod of his head. "She is correct," he told the elder. "Two to nothing, girls," he counted.

Green floundered for a moment and glanced at Pink, who in turn glanced at her father.

"We claim the right of Aio!" Pink exclaimed, almost desperately.

Kagome and Sango blinked in confusion.

The Elder grinned approvingly before turning to Sango and Kagome. "Well, do you accept the challenge?"

"If we knew what Aio was, we might be better equipped to tell you!" Kagome bit out caustically.

"You have been challenged to a contest, the winner shall be found to be the person who deserves to marry these men," the elder explained.

"How positively medieval!" Kagome exclaimed before she could help it. There was not an understanding eye around her. She shook her head.

"Do they really expect us to do a contest with the boys as prizes!" Sango exclaimed, aghast.

"I've died and gone to heaven," Miroku stage-whispered to Inuyasha.

Sango glared at him, Kagome ignored him. "Apparently," Kagome suddenly realized they hadn't been told what the contest was. "What exactly does this contest entail?" she asked warily.

"It is a simple matter," the Elder said which only made the hairs in the back of Kagome's neck stand on end. "We go to the stream and we see who is better equipped to keep their men well fed by catching the fish in the stream."

"You've _got_ to be kidding me?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha's laughter rang out suddenly and when he noticed that everyone was staring at him, he stopped. Kagome narrowed her eyes at him. "You really are enjoying this too, aren't you?"

"Are you kidding?" Inuyasha asked, smirking. "I wouldn't miss it."

"I should just leave you here," she told him seriously. "Would you like to live with these nice people?"

"You do and I'll haunt you!" Inuyasha threatened.

Kagome looked smug for a moment before the Elder's voice cut into her self-serving thoughts of Inuyasha's torment should she leave him to Pink's ministrations.

"Do you accept the challenge?"

Kagome and Sango shared a look. "Do we have a choice?" they asked each other. At the answering look in the other's eyes, they nodded and turned, determined to the elder.

"We accept," they said in unison.

"Fine," the elder said and he seemed upset for a moment, before he suddenly brightened. "Off to the stream we go."

Sango sighed and started to undo the tie of the bundle around her waist that held her slaying armor.

"You!" The elder pointed to her. "What are you doing?"

Sango stopped mid roll. "I'm retrieving my uniform, it is much more comfortable for me to maneuver in."

"Will you always change to feed your husband?" the elder asked sarcastically. "No. You must wear your yukata." He looked at Kagome and Sango. "And no weapons, either, you will remove them please."

"I really don't mind if she changes, Elder-sama!" Miroku called out. "I appreciate the view, actually…" he stopped as Hiraikotsu lodged not two feet from where he stood. Damn. He hadn't even noticed her fling it. She was fast. "I was only trying to help you, my love!" he called back to her. She only glared and, if he weren't so far away, he might have been clearer as to whether or not she were growling.

Kagome was mumbling under her breath as she removed her bow and arrows and placed them on the ground. She glared daggers at the woman closest to them and anyone would've understood the threat behind them. She pointed at her just in case.

By the time she removed her shoes and socks she was grumbling loud enough for Sango to understand her.

"Swine contests that swine people have to get in swine spring water that's probably swine freezing at this point only because swine boys can't keep their swine hands to their own swine selves!"

"Are you ready, Stranger-san?"

Kagome looked at Pink, narrowed her eyes and stopped her mumbling. She looked at Sango who had prepared as best she could by taking off her slippers and tying off the folds of her yukata against her legs, essentially making pants of them and together they started for the edge of the stream.

They looked around and realized that they had acquired a rather large crowd, all female of course, except for the odd older male interspersed. The elder lifted his hand and all the whispering stopped. "The judging will be as it normally goes, but for the sake of the strangers, I will reinstate it…the winner will be the girl who manages to catch not only the most fish, but the better quality fish as well in the time it takes the sand to make its way through this glass…" The Elder reached into the folds of his clothes and pulled out a rather large hourglass.

Sango's eyes narrowed and she leaned toward Kagome. "Where did he get that?" She asked.

Kagome shrugged. "Does he carry one around with him at all times, just in case?" she whispered back. She heard a growl and her eyes were drawn to Inuyasha where Pink was trying to reach for Inuyasha's ears which kept flicking out of her reach. "Oi! Pinkie!" Kagome called out angrily. She responded by jumping to attention. "Stop handling my fiancé!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened and the look of annoyance left his face replaces slowly by a grin.

"That's still to be decided," Pink replied.

Kagome narrowed her eyes but Sango's hand was on her arm motioning that the girls were starting to wade into the water. They waded in after them, the only indication that Kagome thought the water was cold being her sharp intake of breath and the goose-pimpling of her flesh.

"Too cold for you, Stranger?" Pink asked teasingly. "You could always quit."

"Don't you wish?" Kagome countered.

Pink and Green glanced at each other and grinned. "Not really," Green answered.

"This is fun," Pink finished.

"Begin!" the elder's voice boomed.

Pink and Green had caught one fish each by the time that Kagome realized the elder had turned the hourglass. She looked down at the crystal clear spring with an eep and reached down blindly for the first fish that neared her feet.

'What the hell?' Kagome exclaimed mentally as she kept dipping into the cold water, but kept coming up with nothing.

"You're slow, stranger," Pink exclaimed and before Kagome could comment or even completely raise her head, she felt a bump and the rush of cold water as it came up over her head for that one moment before she realized she was under water and she rose her head above water, sputtering and spitting. Every time she tried to stand, something, (a foot or an elbow) kept knocking her back down.

"FOUL!" Inuyasha exclaimed, starting to strain at his, however meager, bindings.

Miroku extended his hand to still Inuyasha and shook his head. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes but didn't strain anymore. "I'm sure she'll be alright," Miroku whispered.

At the stream, Sango started to go to help Kagome, but Kagome motioned her away. "Keep with the fish, Sango!" she called out.

Kagome looked around herself and tried to grab the fish from this position, but they scurried away. 'This is incredible!' she thought. 'There's no way those floosies could be quicker than we could!'

"Time is up!" the Elder's voice called out.

Sango waddled to Kagome and helped her stand. Kagome stood, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Round two!" Kagome called out. The elder started to speak, but Kagome rose a finger in warning. "You are attempting to take away our fiancés and you did not tell us all of the rules to include the possibility of necessary roughness AND…" Kagome paused to take a deep breath, "WE," she pointed between Sango and herself. "should get a second shot to make up for the fact that you all are more familiar with this and it wouldn't be fair otherwise and…" Kagome glared at the girls and pointed at the elder, "You DO want to be fair, don't YOU?"

The Elder paused momentarily before turning to the crowd. "Round two!" he exclaimed.

"Pappa!" the girls screamed.

"Round two!" he repeated.

Kagome turned to him. "Too cold for you, Pinky-sama?" she asked sarcastically.

"Maybe this time you can try not to slip so much," Pinky teased.

"Oh, I think we can manage, can't we Sango?" Kagome asked smiling.

Sango nodded, a smile coming to her lips as well. "We were just warming up before."

"Oh-oh," Miroku whispered, recognizing the look on Kagome and Sango's faces. He may not have Inuyasha's hearing to hear all that was being said between them, but he sure knew the faces of women who had just about had enough and were about to snap.

"Oh, I know that look," Inuyasha whispered to Miroku, smiling wickedly.

"Watch this," Miroku whispered back, smiling also.

"This is going to be fun…" Inuyasha chuckled.

"Begin!" the elder called.

"Let's kick it!" Kagome exclaimed.

Sango shrugged. "Glad to," she grinned as her leg swept under Green's legs and dropped her into the river, the fish Green had caught slipping out of her grip and right into Sango's hand.

A wide grin on her face, Kagome sidled up close to Pink and with a jut of her hips, sent Pink face first into the river. "Well, lookit that," Kagome exclaimed as she reached over and grabbed her own fish. Her grin widened as Pink sputtered, sitting in the water. "Seems we're getting the hang of this, doesn't it?"

"Sure does," Sango agreed, raising up another fish of her own. "Except these little slippery fish keep…" she trailed off as she tried to hold onto the fish and ended up pushing Green off her feet again before she managed to hold onto the fish. "Oh, woops," she said with false feeling. "Sorry."

Sango tried not to laugh, but couldn't help but smile as about to stand, Kagome extended her arm and dropped Pink who was trying to help Green up, thereby knocking both of them back into the water. Kagome and Sango leaned over to pick up another fish and as Pink and Green flustered to stand, Kagome 'accidentally' leaned on Pink's shoulder and shoved her face into the water. Sango leaned to the left and knocked Green off balance, all the while, managing to grab her own fish.

Inuyasha kept close watch on the old man in case he might want to interfere, but he seemed too shocked to find his daughters getting as good as they gave to do much else than blink. The crowd was rowdy, but they didn't seem particularly interested in stopping anything and truly, Inuyasha's eyes went back to the four girls in the water and he grinned, why would they? He may not be as ecchi as the monk, but he couldn't help it if the man in him liked the look of all that water on Kagome and he could help it even less if the youkai in him felt proud that his woman was beating the crap out of the others. Yep, Inuyasha grinned, pleased. It was a win/win situation.

"Time," the elder finally called out as the sand in the hourglass ran out, his tone decidedly more dejected.

Kagome and Sango jumped in joy, whooping. Kagome pointed at the girl in Pink and laughed in her face. "Take that, Pinky!" Kagome looks at the elder and glared at him. "Now are you happy?" she demanded of him as she waddled her way out of the river. "We beat your…" she paused as she considered what word to use, "…girls…" she almost spit out the word, "fair and square…" when the elder appeared to want to interrupt she lifted a finger in warning. "Ah! Those were your own rules, buster!" she exclaimed. "So I do NOT want to hear any more about this…" she disgustedly ran her hands along her sopping legs in a vain attempt to remove some of the excess water but realized it would be pointless without taking off her shoes and she was not about to do that at this point. Remembering she was in the middle of a scolding, she looked back up at the elder. "This mess," she continued. "Now you will be kind enough to untie our fiancés and we will leave this nasty little village of yours and never come back."

"What about the fish?" Inuyasha exclaimed. "You can't leave them with your fish!"

Kagome whirled on Inuyasha and glared at him.

"Forget the fish," Sango interjected as she too was trying to squirt the water out of her yukata. Her exterminator uniform was so much easier to dry, she thought dejectedly. "You can keep the fish," Sango continued. "We just want our fiancés back!"

"Alright," the elder replied on an exhale. "We concede."

"Papa!" both girl exclaimed.

"Hush you two getting us involved in this in the first place! Can't make sure the men you throw yourselves at aren't tied down to someone as determined as these two!" the elder chastised to which both girls lowered their heads in shame.

"Sorry, pappa," they said in unison.

"Fine, apology accepted," Kagome said, starting towards where they were holding Inuyasha. "Thank you _so_ much for the _lovely_ hospitality, but we really _must_ be going," she said dripping in false politeness.

Only to find her way blocked by the tip of the elder's sword. "Not yet."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" she exclaimed. "What now!" She glared at the old man. "You want us to catch shrimp next? Or maybe a nice shark?"

"I feel it is my duty as the elder of these parts to not allow you to continue to live and travel with these two men of slack morals without making certain that you are lawfully wedded first."

For a few moments, all four of the friends were completely silent.

"Pardon?" Kagome finally managed.

"What was that?" Sango spoke almost at the same time.

"…the Hell!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"You don't have to do us any favors!" Kagome exclaimed. "Really, we're fine."

"If you are truly to be married what does it matter if it is done now?" the elder looked around. "We were all ready for a party, might as well not waste the preparations."

"Hell NO!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

The elder turned to Inuyasha and rose a brow. "Unless you really are not to be married."

Inuyasha looked like he had a few choice words for the elder, and since Kagome thought the elder might not appreciate hearing them, she interrupted by standing in the elder's direct line of sight, blocking Inuyasha from his view. "We are, elder-sama," Kagome said, trying for her sweet voice again. "But as you may imagine, a girl's wedding is a very important time for her and our families have been planning this since we became engaged," she tried to say reasonably. "It would not be fair to them to cheat them out of being present, do you not think?"

"They can always re-do the ceremony again later," the elder said, unperturbed.

"No!" Kagome exclaimed, before she realized what her tone sounded like and she exhaled and turned a smile on the elder. "It would not be the same!" she tried. "My mother for one would be very disappointed!" Kagome tried. "I am her only daughter, after all," she tried to be reasonable.

"And yet she lets you parade around with two men who are neither relatives or to whom you are lawfully married?" the elder questioned. "I am doing you a favor, missy," he told her. "If you don't marry men like these, they're just going to go on spreading their…" he stopped and thought about the word he was going to use for a brief moment before continuing, "…attentions around where they shouldn't be spread." He shook his head. "No sir, your mother will thank me, I'm sure, for preventing that from happening." He motioned to two of the older men in the group who came up close to the girls. "Let us prepare for a wedding, my friends," the elder called out. "Take the brides to be to my hut where they can refresh themselves and find them something to wear for their wedding," he told the men.

Inuyasha started to growl when the men started to take the girls away, but Miroku put a hand to his arm to stop him. "What's wrong with you, monk?" Inuyasha exclaimed. "You seem too pleased to let this play out."

Miroku grinned and shrugged. "What can it hurt?" he asked.

"What can it hurt?" Inuyasha echoed, looking at Kagome's face as she was taken away.

"It'll work itself out in the end…you'll see," Miroku assured him.

"I hope so," Inuyasha spoke.

Sango grew near to Kagome as they were led away. "Why don't we just bust the boys and make a run for it?" Sango whispered.

Kagome lowered her head, defeated and shook it slowly. "We can't," Kagome murmured.

"Why not?" Sango asked.

"Someone here has a jewel shard," she whispered.

"What?" Sango prompted.

Kagome didn't repeat herself. She knew Sango had heard her. "I felt it when the crowds gathered. I don't know who it is yet. But if we run away we can never come back and barter for the shard or get it at all."

"Is it a demon?" Sango asked.

Kagome shook her head. "The shard isn't activated, so to speak, it's just here…somewhere."

"So what do we do?" Sango asked.

Kagome shook her head silently, lowering her head to look at her feet as she walked.

"You're not thinking about actually letting them marry us?" Sango watched her friend wince and lower her head even more in an attempt to get her hair to cover her face from view. "Kagome-chan?" Sango prompted. "Are you?"

Kagome looked up at her. "What difference will it make in the end?" Kagome asked. "Nothing he can do in this village will be binding anywhere else if we don't want it to be, right?" Kagome continued even though Sango's eyes were just growing wider and wider. "Well, think about it," Kagome prompted. "The only thing that'll make it binding is if we…" Kagome blushed. "Consummate the marriage," she whispered. "But if we don't do that, then we can just get married, barter for the shard, and be on our way and outside of this village, no one need be the wiser that we were married at all."

Sango sighed. "There seems to be something seriously flawed with that logic," she whispered back as they were led into the hut and the men walked outside and stood guard at the door.

"It's the best I can do," Kagome offered apologetically.

"Stranger-sama?" came a soft voice on the other side of the covered doorway.

"Yes?" called Kagome.

The flap was pulled aside and a young girl entered with two colorful kimonos slung over her arm and a basket at her elbow. "My name is Hikari," the girl bowed. "The elder sent me to help you dress and prepare for the ceremony."

Kagome sighed and smiled lopsidedly at the girl. It wasn't her fault, after all. "I am Kagome," she introduced. "This is Sango," she pointed to the taiyja who looked to be in some form of shocked acceptance.

The girl nodded. "Kagome-sama, Sango-sama," she repeated. "Shall we begin getting you ready?"

"Do we have a choice?" Kagome asked.

The girl looked confused. "You wish me not to help you get ready?"

"I meant…" Kagome realized that the girl wasn't going to understand her sarcasm and probably for the best so she shook her head. "No, no, it's fine."

The girl smiled at them and put the basket down, drawing up the kimonos. "These were made by the village's best seamstress," the girl announced. "We were to go to market next full moon and sell them, so you are lucky that she had finished them early!"

Kagome and Sango's mouths dropped as the girl lifted each kimono for their inspection. They were absolutely beautiful and very well done.

"Oh…" Kagome breathed.

"They are exquisite," Sango spoke, nearing the girl and reaching out for it.

Kagome found herself dying to try on the red and white one and snapped herself out of it. "We couldn't possibly accept these," she told Hikari. "We do not have the money to pay for them," she admitted.

Hikari pushed the kimonos into their hands. "The elder said they were to be our gift to you."

Kagome frowned. "You are doing so much already," she said through gritted teeth.

"But they are beautiful," Sango repeated. "If we have to do this, at least we won't have to look like drowned rodents."

Kagome finally gave in at the soft feel of the material in her hands. "True…" she whispered, starting to think about what she would look like wearing this standing next to Inuyasha, saying her…

She shook her head and cleared her mind of those thoughts. She would not enjoy something that was obviously going to mean nothing to him.

"Come let us begin," Hikari motioned for them to sit by the fire. "We must comb your hair dry first," she told them. "And then we will dress you in the kimonos and then I will do your hair."

Sango and Kagome slowly sat in front of the fire, relishing momentarily in the warm feel of it against their cold clothes.

Hikari must have seen them shiver, for she was suddenly next to them with a dry towel. "Oh, dear!" she exclaimed. "You are soaking still!" She handed each of them the towels and started to help Kagome out of her shirt. "The Elder's daughters really take things too far!" she mumbled as she reached for Kagome's tie.

Flustered, Kagome stopped her. "Uh…"

Hikari smiled. "We are all girls here, yes?" She looked from one to the other. "Do not your maids help you undress?"

"We don't have maids, Hikari," Sango answered. "We are unused to having anyone help us undress."

Hikari smiled. "Well, please have faith in me?" she approached them again. "We must remove your wet clothes or you will be cold and be sick, and we do not wish you to be sick on your wedding night?"

Sango and Kagome both blushed straight to their roots, but with a shrug, Kagome started to remove her shirt. "Well, I guess when in Rome…" she mumbled.

"Rome?" Sango and Hikari echoed.

Kagome shook her head. "Nevermind."


	3. Part III

**_Shotgun Wedding: Part III  
_****_By Emania_**

**A/N:** This is already getting old…This is a short un…Heehee…

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, **_Lavern & Shirley _**and**_ Happy Days_** creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

**Summary:** How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

**_Shotgun Wedding  
_**_"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it  
__Maybe even you and I might do it  
__Let's do it…  
__Let's fall in love!"  
__- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter_

**Part III**

"Are you not pleased, Kagome-sama?" Hikari asked as she watched Kagome look at herself in the mirror.

Kagome was looking at her own reflection as if in a kind of awe…a shocked, frozen awe. Not even when she dressed for the festivals on the shrine had she ever looked so…

"I look so…." Kagome spoke as an attempt to answer Hikari's question.

"Beautiful," Hikari answered, pleased.

Kagome looked at herself and found herself nodding a little reluctantly. "Yes, I suppose, that too, but I was going to say traditional."

Hikari cocked her head. "How do the ladies where you come from dress for their weddings?"

"Well…" Kagome started, then stopped herself. _'I'm dressed for my wedding,'_ she thought and the true meaning of it flooded entirely through her consciousness. "I need to sit down," Kagome mumbled under her breath.

"Oh? Is the Obi tied too tightly?" Hikari asked.

"No," Kagome extended a hand to still Hikari's helpful hands. "No, it's fine, it's just takes a little getting used to."

Suddenly, Sango's reflection appeared in the mirror and although she seemed much more comfortable in the clothing, she looked just as shell shocked as Kagome.

"Sango-sama!" Hikari exclaimed. "You are a beautiful bride!"

Sango smiled absently at Hikari. "Thank you, Hikari-chan," she told her.

Kagome met Sango's eyes in the mirror and they shared a look. So obvious a look that Hikari smiled.

"I shall leave you two a few moments and inform the elder that we're almost ready," Hikari spoke gently.

As she left, Sango sat down next to Kagome in front of the mirror. They were silent for a few moments, before Kagome looked back into the mirror and touched a few strands of her elaborately made up head.

"I _really_ hate Kikyo," Kagome said on a deep sigh.

Surprised, Sango turned to face her friend. "Why do you say that all of a sudden?"

Kagome sighed. "Only because I'm sitting here thinking that I really must have done something terrible in my past life to deserve having _this_ kind of karma to work off…" she paused to adjust the fall of the kimono. "And," she continued, "Considering that Kikyo _is_ my past life, I realized that _she's_ the cause of this trouble as well, so consequently…" Kagome paused again as Hikari came back inside the hut with the elder in tow.

"Are we ready?" The Elder asked them.

Kagome and Sango looked at each other and stood almost simultaneously.

"…I _really_ hate Kikyo," Kagome finished as they walked toward the elder.


	4. Part IV

**_Shotgun Wedding: Part IV  
_****_By Emania_**

**A/N:** Dude…haven't y'all caught on yet?

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, **_Lavern & Shirley _**and**_ Happy Days_** creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

**Summary:** How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

**_Shotgun Wedding  
_**_"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it  
__Maybe even you and I might do it  
__Let's do it…  
__Let's fall in love!"  
__- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter_

**Part IV**

Miroku nearly choked on his tea when Kagome and Sango appeared. He didn't fail to notice that although Inuyasha attempted to be nonchalant, his head had snapped up fast enough to cause whiplash in a normal human being when he smelled Kagome approach.

"They look beautiful," Miroku whispered.

"Keep your eyes on your own fiancé, bouzo," Inuyasha growled.

Miroku smirked. "Not even a husband yet and already displaying jealous tendencies, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha blushed, but only scowled deeper. "Keh," he answered.

"Yes, as I thought."

"Hasn't this gone on long enough, monk?" Inuyasha whispered fiercely to him.

Miroku took another sip of his tea as he watched the girls be ceremonially led among the group of women waiting to touch them and offer their blessings. "Do you see another way out of this?"

Inuyasha keh-ed once again. "I could take Kagome and go and you could take Sango on Kirara. Or we could fight out way out, I don't understand why you haven't wanted to…"

"I told you I felt something strange here."

"Well," Inuyasha tore his gaze away from Kagome to glare at him. "Don't you think it's time you told me what it was?"

"I believe it is a shard…it has the same aura, but not negative…rather the way it feels when someone good holds the shard and does not use it."

"A shard!" Inuyasha exclaimed on a whisper.

Miroku nodded. "I cannot be certain until I ask Kagome-sama."

Inuyasha's gaze flicked to Kagome as she received the blessings of the old women of the village as she approached. Her gaze caught his and something in it was equal parts uncomfortable and welcoming. What did she really think about all this? As he understood it, a girl's wedding was a pretty big deal and here she was, being forced to marry him. He shook himself out of the thought. A shard would make sense as to why she hadn't insisted they get out no matter what. "Keh," he sighed, under his breath.

"Would it be so bad to marry Kagome, then, Inuyasha?" Miroku pressed, looking at him.

Inuyasha rose his chin and purposefully looked away.

Inuyasha was silent for so long that Miroku was beginning to think he wouldn't even deign him with an answer, when suddenly he scoffed.

"She's too young to marry," he finally answered.

Miroku looked at him, surprised. "She is of child-bearing age and skillful at taking care of herself and you, I might add," Miroku argued.

Inuyasha reached out and smacked him in the gut quickly and quietly, his hands back in the bad bindings before their 'guards', who were standing nearby and too enthralled with watching the two beautiful women still making their way amongst the crowd, were any the wiser. "In her time, bouzo," Inuyasha hissed.

"Ah, yes," Miroku nodded, narrowing his eyes at his friend. "But I note that you did not deny it…"

Inuyasha glared at him. "What about you?" Inuyasha countered "I thought you were waiting to be rid of your curse before you settled down?" His eyes narrowed. "Sango is part of my pack now, you realize, and I will tear off your arm and beat you with the bloody end before I watch you sleeze around with other women if you marry her."

Miroku looked at Inuyasha in complete awe. He was serious. "And am I not your pack as well, Inuyasha?" Miroku asked.

"Keh," Inuyasha hmphed. "Doesn't mean I won't beat you to a pulp if I hafta."

Miroku smiled. "You are like family to me too, Inuyasha."

"Feh," Inuyasha mumbled.

Before Miroku could comment any further, they were prodded to stand by their elderly guards.

Miroku met Sango's eyes across the clearing where she and Kagome were standing in front of the Village Elder waiting for them to approach and he smiled so sweetly it made Sango blanch.

"I do not like the look on Hoshi-sama's face," Sango whispered to Kagome.

Kagome glanced at Miroku and almost laughed aloud at the look of smugness on his features. He looked like the proverbial cat that had eaten the canary. Figuring that Sango would not like to be analogized to a canary, Kagome kept that comment to herself. "He looks almost happy, doesn't he?" Kagome whispered back.

"That's what I'm afraid of…" Sango glanced at Kagome and she looked pale and almost afraid. "You don't think Hoshi-sama really believes this is the real thing, do you?"

Kagome couldn't keep the smile from her face at her friend's expression. "You might want to consider calling him Miroku," she teased, shrugging. "Considering."

Sango inhaled sharply. "Don't throw up, Sango!" Kagome whispered fiercely. "You'll ruin the dress!"

Sango realized that Kagome was teasing her and her eyes narrowed, some of the stress leaving her features. "I just realized something, Kagome-chan," Sango whispered.

"What's that?" Kagome asked.

"I _really_ hate Kikyou, too."

Kagome looked at her friend and at her seriousness, grinned. "Welcome to the club."

They were gently prodded to continue walking and Kagome's grin faded into a slightly worried look of her own. She faced the head of the crowd where the elder waited. "He's going to marry us?" Kagome asked.

Sango looked at Kagome. "Yes, of course…there aren't monks or priestesses in every village, so the elder serves the role of father figure marrying the people."

As a thought came to her, Kagome smiled again. "Sweet!" she exclaimed under her breath.

"What?" Sango questioned.

"If it's not really a religious person marrying us, then we're not really married!" she whispered to her. "See? The village elder could serve that role for his village, but not for me who's not from his village, get it?"

Sango slowly nodded. "Yes, of course!" With this thought, Sango finally managed a smile.

Kagome and Sango were made to stop before the elder and wait while the boys were led into position, still tied hand and foot. "Do they really have to remain tied up like that?" Kagome demanded of the elder. "This really does nothing for my self-esteem, y'know."

"It's alright, Kagome-sama," Miroku told them. "A minor price to pay," he assured her with a wink.

"F'getit," Inuyasha mumbled through pressed lips. "It's fine."

Kagome turned to see him standing next to her and her heart skipped a beat as the symbolism of the moment got to her. However much she told herself it was fake, she couldn't help but think…after all, every girl thinks about her wedding, doesn't she? She frowned. And this was not the way she had pictured hers…not by a long shot.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing her mood.

"Do you have to ask?" she countered.

"Right," Inuyasha blushed and looked away. "Sorry for getting you in this situation, it must suck having to marry someone like this."

His sudden heartfelt apology caught Kagome off guard and she blushed as well, realizing what her comment might have sounded like. "It's not the company that bothers me," she whispered back. "It's the lack of control over it that does." She refused to look at him to see what his expression might have been. "But there's a jewel shard here…" she tried to extend her senses. "Behind us and to the left a little…" she chanced a glance but there were so many people, she couldn't see it, just feel it. "The glow's coming from back behind the first and second line of people, but that's all I can tell…I can't pinpoint it any more than that."

Inuyasha glanced back and narrowed his eyes. "I could just cause a commotion and snatch it."

"And darken it with the negative vibes of being stolen?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha shrugged. "You could just purify it later."

Kagome sighed. "I'd hate to do that to some poor person that just thinks they're holding a pretty jewel."

"You have too kind a heart," he mumbled, turning back forward.

"We are ready to begin," the Elder's voice rose above the chatter around them.

"Not quite yet!" came a new voice from somewhere to their left.

The four friends looked at each other, and then at the sea of onlookers who were parting to make way for the new comer. At the sight of a tallish man, of medium build and medium age with a bald head and traveling monks robes and staff, the chins of all four friends fell nearly to the floor.

The monk stopped before them and bowed. "I apologize to interrupt this moment, but I come searching for a monk by the name of Miroku."

A sea of faces turned to Miroku who seemed to shrink under the scrutiny. "I swear I haven't done anything," he answered, raising his tied up hands. "See? I've been here all the time."

"You are Miroku?" the monk asked.

Miroku nodded and bowed. "I am he," he answered.

"You are younger than I imagined," the monk sighed. "But if you are as powerful as they say, I have need of your services." The monk looked at him and leaned a little on his staff. "You see, I have just traveled through a town less than a day's journey from here which has been cursed with a most ominous black cloud that not even I could dispel. When I heard that you, the great dispeller of dark clouds were here, I made haste to find you and get your services…perhaps both you and I together could do this town a great justice."

"I would be glad to oblige," Miroku spoke. "However, I am currently…otherwise…" he looked at his ties and at Sango. "…engaged."

Sango glared at him, but refrained from commenting.

"Oh!" the monk looked around "Do forgive me…we can perhaps finish up the services of your marriage and if your lady wife and friends would not mind cutting the revelry and celebration short, we can travel to the village right away?" He looked around at the feast that was set up not too far off. "After some food to sturdy our souls against the task ahead, of course," the monk grinned.

Sango narrowed her eyes at the monk and looked at Kagome. Kagome looked back in much the same manner. Something was fishy here.

"Yes!" the elder exclaimed. "But of course! And if you will perform the ceremony, we would be most grateful!"

Kagome groaned. So much for it not being binding, she thought.

"Oh, of course!" the monk exclaimed, handing his hat to the nearest person and walking toward the elder. "I would be honored to join two such handsome couples!"

Sango closed her eyes and refrained from letting her head drop into her hands. She looked at Kagome, as if asking for a way out, but Kagome shrugged almost imperceptibly. She sighed and looked back at the monk.

"Now," the monk said, sticking his staff in the ground next to him and clapping his hands. "We are here, to join these two couples to each other," he announced. "Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha and Kagome," he started, looking at each couple as he named them. "Do you recognize the seriousness of this vow you are making today?"

All four people blinked, confused. But it was the elder that spoke up first. "How did you know their names, monk?"

The monk looked confused. "What was that?"

"You called them each by name and knew only of Miroku when you came here…"

The monk laughed. "Ah!" he exclaimed. "I need only know which is Miroku before I could know that the beautiful lady at his side is Sango, the fabled demon exterminator who travels with him and is his betrothed, and that leaves one other male who is told to travel with him, which is Inuyasha, who is recognizable, of course, by his distinctive hair and ears and the lovely young woman at his side is of course, his beloved, Kagome." The monk blinked at him. "Have you not heard that they are quite famous throughout the country as defenders of peace and fighters of evil?"

The elder, who had clearly not heard of any such thing, finally snapped out of his shock at hearing the description of the people now before him and nodded. "Yes, of course," he lied. "Please, proceed."

The Monk nodded. "As I was saying," he continued. "This vow you are now undertaking is a promise of undying faithfulness and love…binding your souls, under my blessing, for all eternity, far beyond the reaches of this life and into those yet to come and into eternity beyond that."

Miroku rose a brow. Sango misinterpreted the doubt she saw in his eyes as a doubt of the validity of the monk's words and frowned.

The monk looked at them all and nodded. "Yes?" he asked. Slowly, the parties nodded, although not as enthusiastically as could have been hoped for. "Good!" the monk exclaimed happily. "Take each other's hands, please," he told them. He watched as gently, Miroku took Sango's who blushed at the contact and Inuyasha and Kagome looked at each other, their hands finding each other's, their fingers entwining, without much effort. "Then, under the warmth of this sun, the very gaze of heaven and the witness of all those gathered here, I now bless you as husband and wife." The monk softly placed his staff atop each of their heads and said a few mumbled words and when he was done, he rose his hands and grinned. "Congratulations! Let's eat!" he finished, walking away toward the food.

The crowd erupted into applause and exclamations of congratulations leaving the four friends staring at each other in something like shock.

"You can untie each other, now," the elder announced.

'In western culture, they get to kiss,' Kagome thought, frowning. Shrugging, Kagome smiled tenderly at Inuyasha who was watching her. Still holding onto his hand, Kagome rose herself up on tip-toe and gently pressed her lips to his, hugging him. "Thank you for being so good about not making a scene, Inuyasha," she whispered into his ear.

"Keh," Inuyasha mumbled, blushing as he ripped off the rope with his free hand, not letting her hand go just yet.

"Congratulations, and come and eat," the elder told them. "Each villager must now present you with a small token."

"That's not necessary," Kagome told him.

"It is for your good luck and ours," he told her.

Kagome sighed and nodded. "Thank you," she bowed.

She turned and met Inuyasha's eyes. "Hungry?" he asked softly.

Kagome smiled and nodded. "A little."

"Then, let's eat something before we figure out who has the shard," he told her.

Kagome turned to Miroku who was being helped out of the ropes by Sango. "Congratulations," she winked at them.

Sango blushed and Miroku winked back.

Kagome started to walk away, still holding Inuyasha's hand as she led him, only to stop when she was suddenly jerked back as Inuyasha fell right on his face. He mumbled something against the ground. "I didn't say it, Inuyasha, I swear!" Kagome exclaimed on a whisper as she crouched down next to him.

Inuyasha sighed visibly, and lifted his head. "I forgot to untie my feet," he admitted, his face stained allover with a dark red blush.

Kagome giggled, putting her hand to her mouth to try and still the laughter. "I'm sorry," she tried to stop but couldn't. "Turn over," she managed between giggles. "I'll help you get them off."

Inuyasha easily turned over. "I don't need your help, woman," he told her, easily tearing through the ties with his hands and standing up in one smooth motion.

Still crouching, Kagome looked up at him, the smile still in her eyes and on her lips. He held his hand out to her. "Come, let's eat."

Kagome put her hand in his and he helped her up. "Yes, husband," she whispered so low only he could have heard her.

He blushed straight through and his hold on her hand tightened, but he didn't look at her or comment as he led her toward the tables. "Come on, bouzo, we're hungry, we ain't got all day."

By the time Miroku and Sango had finished untying his knots and joined them, Kagome and Inuyasha were already seated at the table and being served.

"You're slow," Inuyasha teased.

"In a hurry to get to bed tonight?" Miroku asked on a whisper as he sat next to Inuyasha.

"None of your business, pervert," Inuyasha growled.

"Hmm…" Miroku replied noncommittally. "I notice the lack of a denial…"

As Kagome was served, Inuyasha realized that she was looking around at the crowd, as if looking for something.

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome blinked at him as her attention was drawn back to him. "I…" she looked around again as if to make certain. "I can't feel the jewel shard," she whispered. "Suddenly, I realized I hadn't felt it for a bit and then now, it's gone."

"Gone!" Inuyasha whispered fiercely.

Kagome nodded. "I don't know…it can't have gone that far or I would have felt it leaving…I can feel the jewel from pretty far off, but since it's not activated, I might be able to feel it less, but still…"

"Crap," Inuyasha mumbled.

Having overheard, Miroku sighed. "Well, there's nothing we can do now…if you can't feel it even now, it must already be pretty far off…we might as well eat and enjoy the food."

Inuyasha nodded. "The bouzo's right…" he took the plate with the meats and served some of the more cooked pieces onto Kagome's plate before taking the rarer pieces for himself and passing the plate to Miroku.

Kagome looked at her plate and then back up at Inuyasha, surprise evident in her eyes.

"What?" he asked, having begun to eat. He looked at her plate. "You like the more well done pieces of the light part of the meat, don't you?"

There was a moment of pause where Kagome was silent and staring at him. Just when it was getting uncomfortable, the blank look on her face broke and she grinned brilliantly at him. Impulsively, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Woah, Kagome!" he exclaimed, trying not to drop the chopsticks on her dress.

"You know what meat I like," she whispered before kissing him softly on the cheek and just as abruptly, letting him go to focus on her own food which she blushed over as she ate.

Inuyasha glanced at Miroku who was arguing with Sango over how many pieces of meat he should take for himself, and finding no help there, he shook his head and focused back on his plate. 'Women,' he thought. He'd never understand them. 'How could knowing what kind of meat she liked prompt such a response?' he wondered. After so much time traveling together it was just natural that he know which kinds of meat she liked and which ones she preferred not to eat and which ones she absolutely wouldn't touch…it was only natural that he know she preferred deer meat to rabbit meat and couldn't stand to eat fish every day for too long…that she always ate her food in separate sections, never mixing the rice with the meat unless it was purposefully mixed…that was all only natural…after so much time…wasn't it?


	5. Part V

**_Shotgun Wedding: Part V  
_****_By Emania_**

**A/N:** Another short 'un…don't kill me…there's another one coming up!

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, **_Lavern & Shirley _**and**_ Happy Days_** creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

**Summary:** How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

**_Shotgun Wedding  
_**_"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it  
__Maybe even you and I might do it  
__Let's do it…  
__Let's fall in love!"  
__- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter_

**Part V**

The Elder clapped his hands to get everyone's attention as the last of the dishes were cleared away. "Now, because the monk Miroku and his new bride and friends must make their way out of town tonight to go do good in another town, we shall have the presenting of the gifts now, rather than after the dancing."

"I'm so full…" Kagome groaned.

Inuyasha chuckled. "That's cause you ate like a pig."

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him and prepared to respond with a swift swat to the chest when she stopped and her face took on that distinct look it got when she sensed something.

"What is it?" Inuyasha prompted.

"The shard…" Kagome whispered, clearly awed. "It's back!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "It is?"

"It's faint…like it's covered or something, I still can't tell where it's coming from, but it's around here…somewhere."

"Take your pick," Sango told them, motioning to the line of villagers that had gathered to present their gifts to the married couples.

"Oooh!" Miroku cooed. "Presents!"

"I think you're enjoying this all too much," Sango dead-panned.

"Oh," Miroku told her, getting close. "It's not how much I'm enjoying it, my dearest wife," he said smoothly. "It's how much I will enjoy it later…when we're alone together…"

"Letch," Sango said through gritted teeth, unable to hit him the way she normally would in order to keep up the façade.

"When you're married, a husband who is interested in his wife is normally termed to be romantic," Miroku pointed out.

Sango narrowed her eyes but didn't comment any further. "I'm sure you will enjoy it, my husband…" she patted his hand and let him see her sugary sweet expression. "I know I will…" she grinned and it was almost lethal. "When we're alone together…"

"Oh, look!" Miroku pointed out. "The first villager approaches!" he pointed out.

"Smooth change of topic, Miroku," Kagome mumbled under her breath. She still felt the pull of the jewel shard like a song you couldn't quite name, but she turned to the first villager, an elder man and a young girl.

"At least this way, we'll get a close up feel of each of the villagers," Inuyasha whispered to her before turning to the old man.

They smiled and nodded as person after person approached, placing small boxes or flowers or fruit or material in front of them, each one with a prayer or a word of congratulations or a wish for happiness and to each, the four friends replied the same, bowing in thanks and thanking them.

And, after half an hour, not one person triggered Kagome's sense, even though she insisted the jewel shard was still around somewhere.

"None of these?" Inuyasha insisted.

Kagome shook her head, and bowed along with her friends as another person left two small wreaths of flowers.

"Arigato gozaimasu," Kagome and Sango replied in unison to the little girl, who grinned and ran back to her mother.

"Not a one," Kagome answered Inuyasha.

"But we've seen hundreds of people!" Inuyasha insisted to which Kagome merely shrugged.

"I think we're near the end now…" Miroku pointed out when the Elder approached with his two daughters in tow.

"Thank you for being here…" they said formally as they bowed.

Kagome and the others stood up and bowed in return. "Thank you for your trouble," they replied.

The elder looked at his daughters poignantly who stepped up and presented the girls with a bundle. "It is your clothes…" Pink told them as Kagome took the neatly folded bundle of her clothes which felt light and clean.

"We washed them," Green added as she handed Sango's Yukata to her.

"Felicitations," they said in unison, bowing.

"Domo arigato gozaimashita," Kagome and Sango replied, smiling as the girls looked up at them.

Realizing they had been forgiven, the girls smiled as well.

The Monk that married them was suddenly at their side. "Well," he spoke, rubbing at his stomach a little. "Shall we begin our journey to the next town?"

"We haven't found the shard," Miroku whispered to his friends.

"Maybe its just residue I'm feeling and not really the shard," Kagome admitted. "I mean, I didn't feel it any stronger as anyone approached."

Miroku and the others nodded. Inuyasha took the bag where all the servants had placed their gifts and slung it over his shoulder.

"I'm ready," he told them.

"Wait," Hikari was suddenly at Kagome's elbow. "Do you not wish to change out of those formal clothes for your travel?"

Kagome smiled at her. "Hikari-chan!" she said. "I hadn't seen you during the feast!"

Hikari smiled secretively. "Come," she took Kagome's hand. "Come, Sango-sama…we shall go back to my hut so you can change."

Kagome allowed Hikari to lead them away.

"Already parted from our wives so soon," Miroku bemoaned next to Inuyasha.

Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at Miroku out of the corner of his eye. "At least I've kissed my wife…"

Miroku visibly wilted. "You're too cruel…"

Inuyasha laughed, then, noticing the eyes of the monk on them, sobered and blushing, looked away.


	6. Part VI

**_Shotgun Wedding: Part VI  
_****_By Emania_**

**A/N:** I bet y'all love it when I just post it all up in one bout like this, huh? Well, don't get used to it. The only reason I did it this time is because I wanted to write it all out before I posted it cause it's a Kiriban gift, so nyah! LOL. Anyway, this is it, the last piece.

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, **_Lavern & Shirley _**and**_ Happy Days_** creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

**Summary:** How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

**_Shotgun Wedding  
_**_"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it  
__Maybe even you and I might do it  
__Let's do it…  
__Let's fall in love!"  
__- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter_

**Part VI**

"I wanted to get you apart from the rest of the group for a moment for another reason than just so you can change," Hikari admitted.

"Oh?" Kagome asked, raising an eyebrow and sharing a look with Sango as they changed.

"Yes," Hikari answered. "You were so kind, and the when I was thinking of what I would give you as a present, it suddenly came to me…" She reached into a small trunk and took out a small box.

Kagome felt the pulse of the Shikon and knew with absolute certainty that the shard was inside.

"Hikari-chan…" Kagome breathed as the girl approached her with the intricate small box.

"I immediately thought of this when I thought of my gift for you two," Hikari admitted, opening the box. "I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone, because I didn't want people to know that I had it at all…but…" she removed a small chain with a dangling purplish stone hanging from it. It wasn't the Shikon, and Kagome bit her lip. The shikon was inside that box, she had no doubt, and if Hikari was going to give them this stone, she would have to ask for the shikon. Hikari handed it to Sango. "A monk gave me this stone one day in the market in town…" Hikari told her. "Please accept it as my congratulatory gift?"

Sango knew she couldn't refuse or risk offending the girl, but it really was too much. "Hikari-chan, you needn't give something so precious!" she couldn't help but protest.

"It is the only thing I have suitable for your kindness and to match my wish for your happiness, Sango-sama."

Sango allowed Hikari to place it on her palms, and she bowed. "I shall treasure it," she told her sincerely. "Arigato, Hikari-chan," she told her.

Hikari blushed and turned to Kagome, reaching back in the box. "And this, Kagome-sama, spoke your name to me…" she removed the shikon shard. "A Priestess gave it to me when she passed through market last month," she told her as Kagome stared in awe at the pure brilliance of a purified shikon shard. "I protested that I wasn't worthy of keeping it, that I knew it didn't belong to me, and she told me that I would meet the person that it did belong to and that she entrusted me to give it to her when I found her, so…" Hikari laid it gently in Kagome's palm. "I give it to you, Kagome-sama…"

"Hikari-chan," Kagome breathed. "Do you realize how rare it is that you can hold this shard and have it remain in that color?" she asked.

Hikari shook her head. "I know the shard is rare…"

Kagome nodded. "It is…but you are also rare, Hikari-chan…" she told her sincerely. "Please, have you considered training to become a priestess?"

"Me?" Hikari asked, awed.

Kagome nodded. "You have a purity of heart," she told her. "or the jewel would not have remained such in your possession…please…"Kagome hugged Hikari impulsively. "Do not ever change that…"

When Kagome let her go, Hikari was blushing and smiling. "I swear it…" she blushed even brighter. "…o…oneesan…" she said shyly.

Kagome grinned widely. "Shall we go?" she asked Sango.

Sango nodded, and taking their bundled kimonos, walked out of Hikari's hut, waving.

"Ready?" Inuyasha asked, taking the kimonos and placing them inside the bag he carried.

"Ready," Kagome answered.

"Then shall we be off?" the monk asked as he approached.

The four friends nodded and started walking away.

"Goodbye, Kagome oneesan!" Hikari exclaimed. "Sango oneesan!" Sango and Kagome looked back to find her waving, so they waved as well and then walked back into the woods surrounding the village and into the path.

When they had walked a few moments in silence and were a good distance away from the village, Kagome neared Inuyasha. "I've got a surprise," she whispered.

"Yeah?" Inuyasha asked, unsure how to take her tone.

"I got the jewel shard," she whispered proudly.

"What!" Inuyasha exclaimed, almost tripping in his surprise. That was certainly not what he was expecting. Not that it wasn't welcome, just…not what he had been expecting. "Are you serious?"

Kagome nodded, clearly pleased. "Hikari had it."

"Who?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome sighed. "The girl who said goodbye at the end. She gave it to me as a wedding present."

Miroku laughed, coming up alongside them, Sango obviously having told him the news. "Just goes to show that there are some shards we are just meant to have," he said.

Inuyasha shook his head. "That _was_ a surprise," he mumbled under his breath.

Kagome laughed but stopped when suddenly the monk was next to them.

"I've got a surprise, too," the monk announced, clearly involving himself into their conversation.

"Oh, yes?" Kagome asked, trying to hide her surprise.

The monk stopped on the path before them, facing them and extending his arms to his sides. With a pop and a puff of smoke, the monk disappeared, only to be replaced by a much smaller, plumper Tanuki with a tail. "Ta-DAA!" he announced.

"HACHI!" the group exclaimed in unison.

He grinned and nodded. "Hachi did good, eh, Miroku-dono?" he asked proudly.

Kagome's knees gave out under her and she dropped to the ground with a very unladylike plop. Sango looked as if she were about to topple over herself and by the way that Inuyasha's eye was twitching nobody thought he would keep the cap on his temper for very much longer.

"Eh…"Hachi hedged, sensing the dark mood. "What's wrong?" he asked innocently. "As soon as Shippou found Hachi, Hachi went in and got you out of a bad situation! We even got a good dinner and presents out of it!" Hachi looked to Miroku whose head was lowered and whose shoulders were shaking in barely repressed anger. "Miroku-dono?" he questioned. His ears drooped. "Should Hachi start running now?" he asked on a pitiful whine.

Slowly, Miroku's head rose and at first, all that could be heard was the sound of repressed chuckles, but as Miroku's eyes found Hachi's scared face, he could no longer hold it back and soon he was tearing up and laughing aloud in loud guffaws.

The eyes of his friends found his in surprised, shocked, awe. "Hoshi-sama?" Sango asked.

Miroku shook his head and tried to control himself. "Let's…" he gasped. "Eat!" he finished quoting Hachi, arms out raised. "I should've…guessed…at…that…point!" Miroku tried valiantly to control his laughter, but failing, shook his head apologetically instead and doubled over, holding his stomach.

Kagome broke first…a snort of laughter escaping her throat before she could help it. Surprised, she put her hands to her mouth and shook her head, chuckling. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "But I'm just remembering…" she broke up in laughter again…"Pinky's face…" Kagome gasped between laughter.

Sango started to chuckle next. "As you pushed her face in the…" she broke off in a fit of giggles.

"...RIVER!" Kagome and Sango burst in unison followed by loud guffaws.

Finally, Inuyasha couldn't hold himself back any longer as he watched his friends holding their stomachs and rolled over in uncontrollable laughter. He pictured the look of drowned rat on the wench when Kagome threatened to tear her arm off if she touched his ears and he too was laughing like a madman. "…beat….bloody…end…" he gasped to which his friends all exploded in another fit of laughter.

"Aw, man," Shippou moaned as he approached them on the road. "I knew I was going to miss something good!"

Which, of course, only brought on a new round of laughter from the almost newlyweds.

**Final A/N:** Okay, that's it. I keep thinking that this is really too silly to even bother posting, especially since I didn't give it too much thought as I wrote it, so if you are of that opinion as well, then bows, my deepest apologies and I swear not to do too many of these a year and to always warn you before hand when I do;) Anyway, if any of you out there think it has any redeeming qualities, then please let me know, k?

And Lilac…I still say that if you wish to say you want your Kiriban request back and ask for something else, you can…


End file.
